Shoo Fly, Don't Bother Me!/Improving the Aussie Cork Hat

G'day Mates, My mum just returned to Jerusalem from her week in Cyprus and is tired from partying with all her friends. However, we were distressed to read that my cultured pal, Asta Urbanista in New York (New York City?) has had some trouble with flies, and one of them was so gigantic that she was pewtrified with fear and had to call for help! Crikey! Mates, we have lots of flies down here, and to help keep 'em away we wear these cork hats. So, I got my pal Asta urbanista to try with of these beauties. Don't you all think she looks Faire Dinkum? And, cuter than the funny man. The dangling corks scawe the flys away, but the only problem is that the corks are more annoying than the flies, but at least they aren't scawy! My new cairn pal Scruffy had a weally good suggestion for impwoving the cork hats. He thinks we should have treats and bones dangle fwom the hat instead of the corks. Snicker's Ma suggested dangling vermin would be fun for us doggies. And, Fee suggested having dangly treats on the anti-itch cones. I think that all of these ideas could be a big impwovement!